I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
