i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
She needs sedatives and a leash
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
