You're my little dorito
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
