Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
