The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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