I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
