Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
