i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
