I just saw a hot homeless man
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I want a musical about memes.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
