P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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