White coat. Heels.
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
