i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
