I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
