Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
worst night to have a conscience
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
