she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
