Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
