I'm gonna have a badass scar
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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