And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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