no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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