yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize