drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Found your dick twin last night
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
