not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
