Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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