somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
