Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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