so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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