Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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