Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
