went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
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