i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
