Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
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