Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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