you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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