Soap is not a condiment
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
