That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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