in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
