Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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