Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
