I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
