So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
