It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I love having hate sex.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
