70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
