I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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