we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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