Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
