i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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