My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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