it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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