nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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