We got so high we made milksteak
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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