Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
