Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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