I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
