So drunk its hurt
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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