Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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