i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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