I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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