I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
