his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I fill condoms, not promises.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
