you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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