Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
There was a lot of him and a little penis
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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