problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
