Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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