Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You ate ashes out of my bong
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
