Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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