You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
