ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
