I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i drank out of a bidet.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
