I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
