Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
