Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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