is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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