my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize