No, you can still breathe under the balls.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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