Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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