He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize