he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
