If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
