no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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