yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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