so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize